Over My Rainbow?

[Lahaina, Maui, 2018]

I’ve wished for different things over my rainbows and I shouldn’t be surprised not all of them came true.  But looking at this picture where the bird just happened to fly in above, it makes me remember to be grateful for the things, I received, that I didn’t ask for.

We can set goals, make plans and unfortunately, one tropical storm might wash it away.  Even the origin of these hopes inside of us, can erode with time.  But before we go count the wishes we’ve received, let go, or held onto, I’d like to advocate one thing:  vicarious enjoyment.

With my diet of necessity, I can’t eat the things I want to.  Forget meat, I love bread!  As over-dramatic as it might sound its mild torture having a basket of fluffy bread in front of me and watching it go to waste.  But what I don’t do is envy is the person across the table for being able to enjoy something I can’t.  In fact, I’m happier when they do!

The vicarious bread theory – sorry, I meant, vicarious enjoyment theory can apply to larger things too!  I had a friend who would get annoyed and/or jealous when he saw a couple happily walking hand in hand in central park.  Because I was, and have always been, a single guy he seemed to think I would understand this line of reason.  I did not feel jealous. and I don't think I was annoyed.  The closest emotion I felt recently was that, though I was just walking down the street, I felt like I was intruding.

Let's go back to central park though:  assuming the man and women in question were attractive to one or both of us, what does that have to do with something we lacked?  If someone were to take a snap-shot and edit the photo in this moment of life so my friend is walking hand in hand with an attractive woman, it would only last for that second.  We don’t know this woman, the one she was originally holding onto does.

He also probably knows her bad habits and has accepted at least one character flaw.  He or she could have gone through verbal fights up to the very moment they decided to be pleasant while walking through the park.  For all we know, that woman, if she was available, could be incredibly incompatible with both of us.  Friend, girlfriend, boyfriend, friends with benefits, exes holding hands for old-time’s sake, all we know is they’re sharing a small intimacy.  And let's face it the world can benefit from more voluntary hand-holding.

The tougher part is when you do know, and care about one of them.  Unrequited love is something that I’ll discuss in a future entry, but today I’ll just share my opinion that It’s alright to feel good about other people’s happiness, big and small.  When it happens to us I’m sure we’ll want people just as excited.